Parenthood changes you. The roles you used to play, the identities you used to claim — lawyer, dog lover, spin enthusiast — all come second to your new responsibilities. For some, this rearrangement of priorities can lead to a crisis of identity. This is especially true for women, who for both social and neurological reasons tend to feel the split demands of home and work most acutely.
New Mothers, Let’s Talk About Your Professional Identity Crisis
It’s time to rethink how you define success — and yourself.
August 19, 2020
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Summary.
Parenthood — especially for women — changes you. After giving birth, the brain actually redesigns itself, trimming old connections and building new ones. If you’re someone who has constructed your adult identity around your career, these changes to how you operate can shake your foundations. Even more unnerving, though, is the sudden instinct some feel to actually want to engage in motherhood above all else. The collision of these two identities can lead to an identity crisis, anxiety, depression, and burnout. There are two mental “rethinks” that working mothers can use to figure out how to approach the complicated new world they find themselves in. First, rethink success. Redefine “success” as getting stuff done both in and out of the office — not just “grade A” work. Second, rethink yourself. Instead of feeling that your identity has been disrupted, think of it as having been expanded. You were once yourself — now you’re yourself, plus something else.